Dylan Moran at Latter

So Dylan Moran.. What can you say. The man is brilliant.
But no matter how wonderful it was to see him live. I can’t help being a bit dissapointed. He only did about an hour and 15 minutes. Come on – I paid shitloads of money. I want at least an hour an a half... And he did mostly old stuff. Loads from Monster. But it was great to see him live - finally.
Front row seats. Next time I think maybe third row... Came out with a beer in his hand, went to the table and reached into his pocket and pulled out another one. And then a man came and put a bottle of wine on the table. Cigarette always lit.. Which one guy reacted to, so we got to hear some great insults aimed at that guy. Sounded quite pissed and a bit angry. But that’s part of his act isn’t it.. Or maybe he really was...

“*cough cough* Don’t mind this, it’s a touch of cancer.”
On the different colonial styles "What America does is very gradually build a starbucks around them. They all get addicted to latte and cappucino and it saps their will they all end up watching Steven Segal videos"
"Stop clapping - it bores me!"
“If you considered for a moment the fact that the governor of California is Arnold Schwarzenegger, you wouldn’t be able to do anything else that day. You would have to go and lie down..... Arnold Schwarzenegger became electable by being famous. And he became famous by lifting things. Now you and me, and children, and anybody with an IQ higher than fishsoup avoids lifting things. It’s unpleasant...”
On people driving hummers “You look at one of these vehicles and think just how small does your cock have to be, to wanna walk into a carplace and say I need something the size of a hospital so people know I’m around”
“What day is it – Monday?....or Thursday?.. It’s during the week isn’t it?”
Towards the heckler “You know it doesn’t really matter how fluent you are in English if you’re talking bollocks............I’m really glad you’re out actually, it’s a relief to the people at home”
On being a citizen of the world and going to the gallery “I went to the gallery and I thought, why am I here. All art is the same wherever you go in the world. It all breaks down into the same three phases - Jesus, fruit and tits. That’s it.”
“I’m really sorry about all the pauses and everything......but you know... Pinter got the nobel....”
Woman with squeeky laughter “You brought your fieldmice to the gig did you? What is that, an otter?”
Wrapping up the show "You would be dissapointed if you saw a really slick show, that was incredible well put together. All polite and organised and everything. You don't want that - you can get that anywhere. This is all homemade"
About men being envious about the female radar “'lots of rambling'...I will finish this sentence – I can feel it”